i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
