Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
