Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
