OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Alive.
So much puke
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
