Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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