You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
