guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
