Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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