is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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