Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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