Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
