dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
