hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
