see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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