I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
