just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
