It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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