Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
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