who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
