Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
