Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
