My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
