people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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