i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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