apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
