Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
