Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize