He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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