in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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