he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
