Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
