brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I will be naked everywhere
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
