I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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