Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Mom said you looked used
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
