y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize