where am i from again
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
