This girl is more easily done than said...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
