Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
