Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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