i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
