don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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