The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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