It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
