i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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