So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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