so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize