Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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