You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
