She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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