U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Girls should come with a carfax report
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
