YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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