I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i was born a porn star she said
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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