I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
