hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize