So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
