Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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