My first STD was from a foam party
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
