we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize