He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize