So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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