we're blogging at a bar
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
