found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
These tits shall not be calmed
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
