3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
