girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
