I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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