Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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