he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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