Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I have tasted many bathrooms
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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